The scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything under the sun. Those of you who read my journal know that it must be one of my favorite passages because I use it so much in my journal. The reason is simple, it reminds me that nothing lasts for ever because if it did, we would get stuck on one particular time in life and not move past it.
I'm so thankful for God's word and for his patience and compassion for me. I have spent the last year, just struggling with the crippling pain of loosing my child to the world. I've cried and prayed and struggled through the depression of it all and poured my heart out in my journal. All the while, people told me that I needed to give it to the Lord and let go.
How could I do that? How could I just let my daughter go and not have my hands on her life, trying to fix things for her and help her? What kind of mother would turn her back on her child and just let go?? It's very simple, a mother who has so much faith in the God who gives us our everything and loves us, that she simple, stopped struggling and put her, placed her lost child in the hands of our loving Savior.
I can't tell you how difficult that was for me. My mind went crazy with thoughts of what if this happened or that or what if she needs me? Then it hit me, God is greater than anything I could ever be and he see's her everywhere she is. He knows her heart better than I do and he knows how to teach her, far better than me. Putting her in the hands of God is not letting her go and walking away. Putting her in the hands of the Lord simply means, I've given her the best I can possibly give her, I've given her to God.
So much has been changing for me since I have done that. It's like I have found a new awakening and all the things that have been right in front of me, now are visible and I see. The news just breaks my heart, so much suffering and need and despair everywhere. I keep praying that God will open doors for me and close the old ones. I keep praying that God will show me his plans for my life and my purpose that is only found in him. I've been searching for so long and looking in all the right directions but I've been looking with a thought or a goal in my mind. Now, the slate is clear and I no longer have a desire to obtain the things I want or think I should have but instead, my heart truly desires what God has for me.
People tell me to find a cause or charity or something but the Lord keeps telling me to be patient and wait and he will show me what he has for me. Each day I wake up, I expect something but I do not have my mind set on one thing. Each day, I simply pray that I can be a light to the world for him and that I can live a life that is pleasing to him.
All the things that have been going through my head have found their way into another poem. Seems the Lord always gives me words to write out my heart onto paper and have meaning. I pray that this poem will bless you and comfort you and give you new hope.
Copyright ©2007 Poetry by ging
I refuse to give the enemy one more second of pleasure from watching me struggle and fear and suffer and feel hopeless. I pray that my attitude, appearance and speech can be that of comfort and hope and love to others. Thank you so much for all your prayers and for your listening ear. God bless.
Remember, the greatest way to repay someone who has done you harm is to live and be happy. Sugar girl, thank you for the beautiful graphics.