If I were to sit and write a book of the things that I have been through in less than ten years, I'm sure many would doubt me and even want proof. There is proof, documented somewhere but I am not concerned about proving anything, just telling my testimony.
One day, my husband and I were going along through life, and we thought everything was perfect, planned for, secured and life was great. In a moment, one disaster after another happened and our lives fell apart. We lost almost everything we had because of one thing after another that could not be avoided.
His injury started everything and the end result was poverty, a destroyed home, his health, divorce, death, you name it. I could not understand what was happening or why and when my marriage fell apart, it was almost more than I could bare. I still prayed every day and asked the Lord to help me. I was left with two children to raise completely on my own and my husband was no longer in the picture.
From the time of his injury to the the day he left, I can't even begin to tell you all that happened but I sure thought of Job a whole lot. I even lost my friends and well, everything. My one friend who stuck it out with me ended up being someone I fell deeply in love with. I can't even express it with words but I have never loved like that in my life. Three and a half years later, he betrayed me and left me too.
I was angry, didn't understand, couldn't figure out what I did wrong. I prayed every day and I spent time with the Lord but still, my whole life was gone before my eyes. I thought I was going to die from a broken heart, I kept thinking, is this it? Is Satan going to be allowed to destroy me?? What is it I need to do in order to have God's blessing in my life? Why do I try so hard to be a good person and everything is such a tremendous struggle for me?
After I lost my friend, I was so closed over. I just wanted to be dead because if God was against, what hope could I possibly have? I started praying for the Lord to heal my heart, to give me a desire to let go of it all and heal my heart. I began reading the old testament and decided to getinto the word of God every day, no matter what. Here I am, seven months later and wow, what an awesome God we serve. I realize now that not only did the Lord never leave me, he also blessed me in ways I couldn't hope for. I have relationship with him and he is the safety net of my life because I can always count on him. My heart is completely healed but if you asked me how it happened, all I can say is that it took one step of faith after another.
Today, I am able to share my testimony with people and they listen. They listen because I've lived through every horrible thing that can happen to us as humans and I still speak of the Lord, how much he loves me and how important it is to look to him and only him for all my needs. I feel so blessed to be able to reach out to others and help them see how much God loves us, even when everything is falling a part around us.
You see, in order to build new, you have to tare down the old. One piece at a time, with faith, prayer, relationship with God, it just all comes together in a miraculous way that words can not explain.
This world is becoming such a cruel and hateful place to live. I see people suffering all the time with death, sickness, abuse, pain. I know in my heart that God is in control, when we give our lives to him completely and trust him and live according to his will, he makes everything beautiful in his time.
Each time that I come up against something that Satan is throwing at me, I trust the Lord, even when it makes no sense. Each time, I become stronger in the Lord, my faith grows and my relationship with God grows. I am no longer afraid of what Satan can do to me because God is in control and I understand that so much more than I ever have.
Being in the word of God is the key. Knowing his word, his direction, his promises, his truth, his history of saving people, it just builds your faith and gives you confidnece that he will not put more on you than you can handle and he does have a purpose. Our hope should be to serve him better and know him better and when we focus our hearts on him and the things he has for us, not the worldy things, we find we are so richly blessed by him.
I encourage anyone and everyone to get out their Bible, dust it off and get into the word of God. It might not hit you right away, it didn't me but slowly, day by day, I realized that I need to praise God at all times, no matter what is happening and not give Satan a foot hold to depression and fear and sorrow. God sits on the throne, he lives and he rules and in the end, he is the one we stand before.
If you ask me if my life is perfect today, I tell you no. If you ask me if all the trials and struggles are over, I tell you no again. I still go through tremendous trials and loneliness is one of the worst. What I will say is that by sharing my story, I can give glory to the Lord for his faithfulness and love. I have the assurance that I am never without hope and I trust in him with all my heart, soul and mind.
I would never say that it was all a loss but a gain because I am a better person for having gone through all that I have. I'm stronger in the Lord than I've ever been and I tell you true, What a friend we have in Jesus. God bless.