Saturday, April 29, 2006

BROKEN HEARTED

Lord, I humbly and sincerely thank you for all that you are to me.  Today my heart was broken and I felt like I couldn't take another step.  I reached out for you and you were there for me, like you always are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lord, today I went searching for a sign that you care about the sorrows in my heart and you sent me angels, in the form of friends who took the time to tell me that I matter and that they care for me.  Thank you for loving me.

Lord, today, while my heart was breaking over my daughter and all that I am going through with her, I felt like I had no business being a mother because I am in an impossible situation and trying to raise a rebellious teenager on my own with no support system, is completely impossible but you stepped in and sent my son to me in the form of a phone call and he made me feel like I was a queen and that he could not wish for a better mom.  Thank you that all things are possible with you.

Lord, tonight while I sit here all alone and wish that I had even one person to talk too that really cares about me and what I am going through, feeling, dealing with, you touched my heart and reminded me that I am not alone and that you will never leave me nor forsake me.  I am truly humbled to be loved by a King like you.

Lord, let me never forget that you are the reason I live and breath and love.  Help me to always remember that it only take a spark to get a fire going.  Help me to keep my fire going for you and to always strive to be a light to the world.  Thank you for your ever lasting mercy and love and grace that gets me through each day. I pray I never start to think that I deserve more than what you got when you were on this earth because if not for your life and your love for all, I would be nothing.  Teach me to always love and pray for others.  We are all suffering because that is the world we live in, cruel, selfish and evil.  Under your might wing is my hiding place.  Praise be to God who brings life to all.

Friday, April 28, 2006

LOVING GOD

Well, we made it through the week, by the grace of God.  For me it seems like the turmoil has blended the last two weeks into one single blur and it's been a struggle to get through.  Lately I have been face with the question of why we suffer, why isn't life getting any better?  Why isn't God answering my prayers, where is he?  People at work, friends on here and even my own child.

I have contemplated a lot of things these past few months.  I see the world getting worse and I also, continue my study through the old testament.  I see the tremendous wars and sin that the children of Israel and Judah endured.  I see the mighty hand of the Lord who not only destroys his enemies but miraculously saves his followers.

I don't know all the answers to why we suffer.  Some say it's to bring us to a closer walk with the Lord.  Others say it is because of the sins of our forefathers and our own lives and choices.

What I do know is that I see how horrible the world is getting and it reminds me of the days before Jesus when the Lord was directly who we answered too.  The difference now, from then is that we have our savior to turn too.  We have him to intercede for us and to save us.

The Lord wants but one thing from us and that is that we serve him.  It is his will for each and everyone of us to have eternal life with him and to glorify him.  It's when we do this that he is so pleased and our blessings are multiplied.

God loves you.  He died on the cross for our sins.  If you think about what that means, it's everything.  We have this life that he gave to us to serve him but we also run a race, just like Paul.  To live in this world and serve the Lord, well it's like living in the day when Jesus carried that cross, beaten and battered and spit upon and someone in the crowd, stepping forward to help him.

Our walk with the Lord is to be bold and carry honor and praise for our Lord.  If we want to be warriors for him and fight a good fight, we must take a stand as Christians and let our light shine for him.

Our breastplate of righteousness is our armor.  To set an example to the world of the peace that passes understanding, joy, love, kindness, patience and total, true devotion to the Lord.

I encourage all of you to strengthen your relationship with the Lord because in the end, it's all any of us will have.  Besides, it's so awesome to know that you are never alone and that he always has time for you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you and you can always count on him.

Is your life built on a solid foundation?  Do you put on your full armor everyday or do you wait for the crisis?  I pray this touches your heart and encourages you.  I pray that you remember who your enemy really is. I pray you pour out your anger on the enemy and with the help of God, you defeat him again.

Remember, he is already defeated and God will prevail.  Don't let him rob you of your joy with appearances.  No matter what your circumstances, God is bigger.  Praise him, make a joyful noise and trust him with all your heart.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

GOD IS IN CONTROL

I see it all around me and I know everyone does, this world is a cruel place to live and it's only going to get worse until the Lord comes.  Those of us who are Christians, we know that this is the enemy and that we are in a spiritual warfare.  Everywhere I go, people I talk too, strangers or not, all of us are being attacked and we feel it.  Satan chooses the things that are going to have the most impact on us.  Our families, friends, work, everything and anything he thinks will work.   Why would't he?  He know's he is running out of time and that he is a looser.

I myself have had one of the most stressful times in my life, just recetly and I'm being pulled in so many directions. The one thing I gave up time for was being n the word of God.  That's how Satan breaks us down and beats us up.  He lies to us and tells us that we can not handle the situation, we can't get through, it's too much.

I say, Satan, you are a liar and you have no power over me.  Nothing can touch us that God does not allow.  Keep your guard up, stay in the word of God and trust him with all your soul, heart and mind. 

Some of you know what I'm dealing with and some of you don't but I still say, God is still on his throne and he will prevail.

JAMES 1:13,16,17 Weymouth
13 Let no one say when passing through trial, "My temptation is
from God;" for God is incapable of being tempted to do evil,
and He Himself tempts no one.
16 Do not be deceived, my dearly-loved brethren.
17 Every gift which is good, and every perfect boon, is from
above, and comes down from the Father, who is the source of all
Light. In Him there is no variation nor the slightest
suggestion of change.

Got burdens?  give them to the Lord.  Let not your heart be troubled.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

FINDING TIME FOR GOD

TODAY, I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST STOP WHAT I AM  DOING, STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT I NEED TO DO AND JUST TELL YOU LORD, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.  YOU TELL US IN YOUR WORD THAT IF WE ACKNOWLEDGE YOU BEFORE MEN, YOU WILL ACKNOWLEDGE US BEFORE YOUR FATHER, IN HEAVEN.  I ACKNOWLEDGE YOU LORD AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR MANY BLESSINGS.  I THANK YOU THAT WHEN I SUBMIT MY WILL TO YOU, THE PLAN YOU HAVE FOR ME IS FAR GREATER THAN ANYTHING I CAN THINK OF ON MY OWN.

LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU BRING INTO MY LIFE TO CAUSE ME TO HAVE A BETTER, CLOSER WALK WITH YOU.  THANK YOU LORD WHEN YOU USE ME TO GLORIFY YOU. THANK YOU FOR EACH TIME YOU USE ME TO TOUCH ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE OR HEART AND GLORIFY YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS.

I KNOW THAT MY WAYS ARE NOT YOUR WAYS AND MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOURS.  I KNOW THAT I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.  THANK YOU THAT YOU SEE OUR HEARTS LORD.  THANK YOU THAT NO MATTER HOW WE MIGHT APPEAR ON THE OUTSIDE, YOU KNOW OUR STORIES AND WHAT THINGS WE HAVE BEEN FACED WITH IN OUR LIVES TO BRING US WHERE WE ARE TODAY.  THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS USING CIRCUMSTANCES TO BUILD OUR FAITH AND HELP US TO TRUST IN YOU.

YOU ARE A MIGHTY AND AWESOME GOD AND YOU ARE WORTHY TO BE PRAISED AND WORSHIPED ALWAYS. I LOVE YOU LORD AND I PRAY THAT MY LIGHT FOR YOU WILL SHINE TO THE WORLD AND TOUCH OTHERS LIVES IN A POSITIVE WAY.  ALL FOR YOUR GLORY, FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN.

Saturday, April 8, 2006

DOWN TO EARTH

Last night, as the sun went down on another day, I sat in my chair and thought of the events of the day.  You see, yesterday was not just another ordinary day with it's normal challenges.  I was sitting here at my computer when my daughter came in and told me that we had company.  The look on her face told me that I needed to brace myself and so as I got up and walked to the door, I carelessly thought about how I would deal with who was at the door, I never considered praying first.  See, I knew who was there before I even looked, as if the Lord just told me.

By the time I got the the living room, they were in my house already.  I saw the man who has caused such tremendous pain to my little girl.  He is related to my niece and it's such a sensitive matter, I have not been able to confront him for what he is guilty of.  The rage took hold of me and I lost my temper so quickly that I didn't have time to prepare my words.  Like a lion, protecting her young, I flew into this man.  I can't even repeat the words that came out of my mouth but I threw him out and I threatened to buy a gun and kill him myself.

I came back into my office and found my daughter in the arms of her boyfriend and she was visibly shaken.  She was crying and shaking and clinging to Chris like she was terrified.  As soon as she saw me, she grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go.  I was calm by then and I just stood there and held her and told her that she was safe and no one would ever hurt her again.  It broke my heart that she could ever be so hurt and yet here I am, her mother, in charge of keeping her safe.

I have her in counseling because she has such a serious anger problem.  I know what this man did to her but I found out, only by the grace of God and she doesn't realize I know everything.  I've been told to keep it to myself until she is ready to tell me everything.  That's one of the hardest things I have ever had to do because as a mother, I want this man to pay for what he did to her.  I want to put him away ......... I want to hurt him.

It wasn't long after this happened that I realized how far I still have to go in my walk with the Lord.  I thought about the sin of anger and how I could have handled it differently.  How God is provoked beyond belief and yet his anger does not pour out on us.  I felt convicted for the way I had handled the whole matter and I asked for forgiveness.  I am still angry today.  This man hurt my little girl and he deserves to pay for what he did.  The counselor says that if I take it all into my own hands before she is ready, it could ruin the rest of her life.

I admit that I am only human, living in a cruel world with worldly feelings that I must deal with everyday.  I thought I had come so far in my walk with the Lord but last night showed me that I have a long way to go.  Imagine being so much like the Lord that someone could seriously hurt one of your children and you still loved and prayed for that person.  I'm not there yet.  I want to be because that is what the Lord wants from me but I am not there yet.

Please pray for this situation.  Pray that the Lord takes care of this man and brings him to his knees.  Pray that my anger will not get the best of me like that again and please pray for my little girl and a healing for her.  She is so angry at God because he did not protect her and it's so hard for me to explain to her that he loves her with all his heart.  Today, I am humbled by the tremendous love that the Lord has for each and everyone of us.  God bless.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Patience, Obedience and Faith

Think back on that last time you were at your very lowest.  What happened before you felt the depression and pain?  Now, think back when you became happy again. What happened that caused you to become so depressed?  Did the Lord speak to you and tell you not to do something and you did it anyway?  Even after your disobedience, who was waiting there to pick you up and lift you on high ground again?  The Lord

In the Old Testament, so many times the Lord would choose a King for Israel and promise them everything.  The person would vow to be obedient , Solomon, Saul ... on and on but something would cause them to look at their circumstances and act out of their own fear and doubt. They would end up loosing everything.  Even though the Lord promised them everything they wanted or needed and he showed himself to be the most powerful and faithful God, they would get impatient and do what they wanted to instead of trusting God.

Is that how your life is today?  Do you feel the Lord tug on your heart and ignore it?  In your disobedience, cause yourself harm?  How often we get impatient and decide we can move without the Lords will, the Lords word.  If the Lord tells us to do something, no matter how it might seem, he always come through for us.  If we obey, we are so richly blessed.

Lord, give me your listening ear to hear and the obedience you would have me to have, in order that I might do your will and glorify you in the process.  I put my trust and faith in you with all my heart. Everything I have and am, is because of you.  Teach me to be obedient and have a Godly discernment, to do your will. Never let me forget that nothing can touch me that you don't allow.  Help me to trust in you.  Amen

Sunday, April 2, 2006

MAKING A JOYFUL NOISE

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, that is where my heart is.  I was thinking today and I want to make sure that those of you who read my journal, know that I am truly blessed.  I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, my children and I are safe and warm.  It's important to me that all of you understand that I do not wallow in self pity, poor me.  On the contrary, I just know that the Bible tells us to confess our sins, one to another and to pray for one another.  It is my hope that anyone who reads this journal, who has a burden on their heart but is afraid to tell, knows that the Lord realizes that we all fall short of his glory but the GREAT NEWS is that if we confess our sins to him and ask for forgiveness, he is quick to forgive us and heal our lives.

I was reading in 1 Kings 5 - 8 about how Solomon built the Temple for the Lord.  It amazes me how much time and effort he put into building this temple and how he gave his very best to the Lord.  How many times does God ask us to do something that is difficult and seems impossible and we do it just to get through it?  I know I have been guilty of that.  Sometimes I'm too tired or something and I quickly go through my Bible study or prayers or something.

Imagine if the Lord did not give us his best?  Imagine if he only started an answer to our prayers and didn't finish it or didn't pay attention to our needs and got it wrong??

The Bible tells us that if we ask anything in God's name, according to his will, he will give it to us.  It's our faith that makes everything possible and how God works.  Praise you Lord that you love us and that you gave us your son to die for our sins.  Thank you Lord for all that you give to us, each and everyday and even when things are difficult and seem impossible, you always keep your word and you always see us through.

Thank you Lord that each and everyday is a new day to shine our light for you.  Help us to always count our blessings, name them one by one.  Help us to reach out to others and love even the hardest of hard of people.

God bless all of you who read this.  No, I'm not crazy.  I was feeling very sad this morning but I spent time with the Lord and I know that he will answer my prayers and that he is with me through everything.  Like the children of Israel, God keeps his promises to us and he will lead us out of the land of Egypt and into Israel, what ever that might mean to you.  Have a wonderful blessed week everyone.

A SECRETE PLACE IN MY HEART

I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind was this man, who still has my heart.  I immediately tried to push him out of my head and focus on God but he is here, with me today.  The Lord does have first place in my life and it's important to me to say that.  This man is gone because I made a choice to put God first.  

I keep wondering, how can I know so well that this person is a part of my past and yet I still carry him with me, like a shadow but I know the Lord has laid it on my heart to pray for his salvation.  I pray about it all the time, he's always with me.

It is my true hearts desire that this man truly give his life to the Lord so that when life in this world, as we know it, is over; he will one day be with the Lord too. 

Maybe what God is doing is purging my heart of the pain and I have to think of him, in order to let him go????  I don't know, I just know that I do so sincerely trust the Lord and make a concerted effort to move on with my life.  I do not contact him or make any attempt to see him. 

I am a poet but I have not written in a long time.  This morning, I wrote a poem I'd like to share with you.  Maybe, writing will help me get this out of my system but one thing will never change.  I will never stop praying for this man.

 

 

YOU

The sadness just envelopes me no matter what I do
 
And random thoughts keep plaguing me of the love I feel for you
 
People say I should just move on and put you in the past
 
But something about loving you, just seems to last and last
 
Each day I thank the Lord above that the pain is mostly gone
 
I try to focus on the task at hand but I feel so all alone
 
I see your sweet face in my mind, it's random, not a choice
 
I can almost see you standing there and  hear your gentle voice
 
The logic is like a trumpet, that blasts the truth to me
 
Still I move through life with determination but your face I often see
 
How is it that we went so far and let our feelings grow
 
Then suddenly, one day your gone, why you left I'll never know
 
I pray about it often and I pray God takes care of you
 
But I know you'll always be with me and there's nothing I can do.  
 
          

Copyright ©2006  Poetry by ging

 

Thank you all for your continued prayers for me and this man.

My scripture for today is ....

 

 Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.

God bless