Friday, March 31, 2006


Hello to all of my friends in Jland.  As I continue my study in the old testament, I find myself pondering on what life would be like today if it were not for the son of God. I think about these ordinary men who God called to do great things and because of their disobedience and lack of focus on the Lord, their punishments were so extreme.  I know in my personal walk with the Lord, there have been many times that I felt I could make my own choices and have all that I wanted and found myself crying out to the Lord to save me.

Even to this day I live with a broken heart because I allowed myself to love someone but was not in the will of God, so I lost the greatest love of my life.  It was this loss that brought my  complete focus back to Lord and his will for my life.  Even though I find comfort in knowing that the Lord is with me, my comforter and companion, my hero, the pain is still here, with me every single day and some days are just a struggle to get through.  I know that I can make it through because the Lord is with me and he will never let anything touch me that he does not allow.  I know that one day there will be no more pain or suffering but the hard part is, getting to that point.

I know I have mentioned in my journal before, that I feel weary sometimes and I am sad.  It just serves to show that even that Christian who loves the Lord endlessly, can cause themselves great pain when they step outside of obedience.  This experience makes me want to be even more like Christ.  It makes me want to be even more careful of the example I set, the choices I make and the people who's lives I touch everyday.

I struggled this week with a horrible infection that just came on me out of no where and made me very sick.  That, along with the day to day struggles that we all face, makes me so very thankful that the Lord loves me and all I have to do is reach out to the Lord and he is with me.

I encourage you to remember how wonderful our Lord is and how very important it is to seek his will in everything that you do.  I know that the closer I am to the Lord, the more I feel his tremendous sadness over the world today and how his children have stepped out of obedience and make their own choices.  The Bible tells us that we reap what we sow.

I pray that we all can make a heart felt effort to sow good seeds and to glorify God in all that we do.  I ask that you stop and say a prayer for me.  The Lord is healing my heart but I still feel this man that I gave my heart too and I miss him greatly.  I am simply a human being who has made mistakes but I do love the Lord with all my heart and soul and mind and I know that all things work together for good, for those who love the Lord and live according to his will.  God bless.

Sunday, March 26, 2006


Today is one of those days where I am just tired and I don't want to do anything.  I came online and started reading some of the journals because I feel so lonely.  I know that my feelings today are not a lack of faith by any means, it's just that sometimes getting through the process of what the Lord is doing in your life, is a struggle.

My friend Marie, made this picture for me. She and I have been friends for a long time and she has such a sweet and loving heart towrds me.  I looked at the words here and i know that they are true.  Sometimes when we are going through a difficult time, we try to block things out as if they will go away.  The truth is they don't go away, we just don't think about them in the front of our minds.

I know that the Lord is working in my life.  I see him changing me and blessing my family.  I am so thankful for all that I have and all the ways the Lord can use me to his glory.  Still, today I feel the sadness of great loss in my life.  It's been two and a half years and still this person is on my mind and in my heart.

It's funny how we can believe with all our hearts in something, then when we find out we were wrong, it just breaks the heart.  Sometimes crushes the very spirit.

Lord, thank you that when I am down, you are there to love and comfort me. Thank you that you tell us in your word, there is a time for everything under the sun.  Thank you Lord that when we are at the deepest of the pit of despair, you are always there to comfort us and help us through.

Let's all pray for each other in Jland. There is so much need and every single one of us count.  I believe that prayers are like lights that go up to heaven.  Let us make a beautiful light for the Lord to glorify him.  Amen.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Do you ever look at the world and see all the people in the news? Rich people, movie stars, athletes?  People who care nothing about their future with the Lord or their public display of sin.  You see them on top of the world and traveling all over the world with their money, wining and dining.

Is this really what you want for your future or would you rather be one of the followers of Jesus?  Seeking his will, loving, forgiving, kind, humble, honest...  Some would say that they serve the Lord and love him with all their hearts but still they struggle with money issues or health or something.  Where is my reward, where is my blessing?

The Lord tells us in his word that we are to be Christ like. That we are the light of the world and that we must let our light shine for the glory of God.  Those of us who listen to him know that we have him with us no matter what we face here on this earth.  People are selfish and greedy and uncaring and it's a hard world to live in but God makes us a promise in his word if we obey his commandments.


Matthew 5: 3-10.

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven 


Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted 


Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth  


Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.



Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.


Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God 


Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God  


Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake  

                             For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.


Thank you Lord for all your promises to us in your word that we can count on..  Thank you that we have the confidence of knowing that you are with us always and that one day we will be with you in paradise.  That our riches are in heaven with you.  One day, when I stand before you, I pray that I will be someone you are proud to call your child.  Amen.


Thank you Marie for the beautiful graphics.



Sunday, March 19, 2006


I woke up this morning and I said good morning to the Lord.  I was thinking about this lesson he is teaching me to wait upon the Lord.  Even my Bible study last night was about how being impatient can destroy the good works of the Lord.  1 Samuel.

All of us have issues in our lives that we deal with everyday that are difficult.  Sometimes we feel like the wait will never be over and that maybe even possibly the Lord has forgotten us or not heard our prayers.  That is a lie straight from hell.  God so loves us that he gave us his only son.  He knows every hair on our heads.  He came so we could have life and have it more abundantly.

I encourage you to take the time you normally would to feel down and forgotten and spend it praising God for the prayers he is answering.  Ask him for courage and strength and wisdom.  Trust him with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.  He is faithful to fulfill his promises to us and he loves us so.

Isaiah 40:31 They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.  They shall mount up with wings like eagles.  They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. 


Saturday, March 18, 2006



As simple as an old hymn, so is the Lords truth He died on the cross for our sins, rose three days later and he lives in this world today.  If you doubt that, I challange you to put him to the test.  Just reach out to him and he will reveal himself to you in a mighty and powerful way.  Amen

Long long ago in a far away place, rough rugged timbers were raised to the sky. There stood a man, suspended in space and though he was blameless, was left there to die.  Just to think of the cross, moves me now, the nails in his hands, his bleeeding brow, to think of the cross, moves me now, it should have been me, it could have been me, instead I am free I AM FREE.

Never forget that no matter how things may appear, the Lord is with you and he loves you and his word never comes back empty.  Amen


Friday, March 17, 2006


Isn't he beautiful?  The Lord is so good.  I have been a Christian since I was 7 years old.  I remember the day I got saved and how incredible it felt when I was baptized.  I finally had a place I belonged and it gave me confidence.  Over the years, I have drifted away from the Lord because times got tough or I was angry or something other than complete faith and obedience.  Each time, I would hit bottom  and cry out to him and he would rescue me.  Just like the children of Israel.

I've found my way back to the Lord again, through another rock bottom plunge.  The only way out was to cry out to the Lord but he heard my prayers and he is working  such wonderful things in my life.  That Peace that passeth understanding.

Lord thank you for making me more like you, everyday. Lord thank you that you know what is best for me and for blessing my life with your joy.  Thank you Lord that even when things feel out of control, you are in control. Thank you for teaching me to make a joyful noise to you. 

Help me to love my enemies the way you would have me too.  Help me to have a pure heart for you.  Help me to show your glory, through me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Reasons For Unanswered Prayer

Sin - Psalms 66:18 if I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear. 

Lack of faith - James 1: 6-7 but let him ask in faith, with no doubting for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. Man can't think he will receive anything, a double-minded man - unstable in all his ways.

Seeking Gods Will - 1 John 5:14-15 now this is the confidence we have in him if we ask anything in his will, he hears us, whatever we ask we will receive.

Praying From Impure Motives - James 4:3 uou ask and do not reveive because you ask a miss that you may spend it on your own pleasures.

1 Samuel 1-3 Hannah prayed for years for a son.. She promised if the Lord answered her prayers, she would give her son to him. The Lord had it in him a time that was right for this child and when he was ready, Hannah coneived a child.  This child, Sammuel, grew up and became a profit.  Eli,at the same time, had two sons that he did not instruct to restrain from evil, to his house, the Lord cursed saying he would not forgive him with any atonement. In th end, the Lord used Sammuel to be the profit to Eli and tell him of the Lords judgement on him

It's so easy to to blame God when our prayers are not answered but God holds true to his word and he tells us that if we do not do his will, he will not hear our prayers.  Sometimes the answer is as simple as pressing on and waiting for God's timing and believing.

Prayer -  Dear Lord Jesus, show us anything in our lives that separates us from your glory.  Give us faith and perserverance to keep looking to you and know you have heard our prayers and WILL answer us in your time.  Amen

Saturday, March 11, 2006


Hello everyone, isn't the Lord wonderful??  His word is a wonderful gift, full of power and love and blessings.

Today has been such a blessed day.  My son came home from college for the weekend and he and his little sister and I spent some much needed quality time together.  I feel so blessed that I have the Lord and that I can turn to him and that he so richly blesses me.  It's the simple things, family, health, being together, a warm house, food to eat and the love we have.

Thank you Lord for the blessings you so richly bless us with each day.  Help us Lord to look to you for all of our needs.  Help us to love one another and to forgive one another and to always be a fire for you.  Thank you for your blessed word that instructs us and teaches us all we need to know. I love you, with all my heart, today, tomorrow and always.   Amen



Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Trusting God

Tonight I did my study in the book of Judges.  Isreal caused so much hardship on itself by not obeying God.  Over and over again they would fall into their evil, immoral ways and over and over again, they would cry out to the Lord to save them and he would.  He sent 6 Judges to punish them for not obeying his commandments and each time they fell back into their sin, they would be judged and their land and people destroyed, thousands at a time.

How often do we find ourselves crying out to the Lord to save us because our sin has caught up to us and how many times has the Lord saved us?  God wants us to love him first and keep his commandmants.  He wants us to be a light unto the world of sinners and shine his light and love to all.  Be not conformed to this world but be a light to the world by the renewing of our minds.  Trust the Lord with all your heart and be a light to his glory for others.


Lord, help me to not continue to make the same mistakes, rather grow as a Christian and serve the purpose you created me for.  Amen

Monday, March 6, 2006

Just Me

This is me about 4 years ago but I feel about 40 years older.  I know that the Lord is coming soon and I'm happy about that because this world makes me sad.  It seems so unimportant compared to all that is happening and the Lords coming but sometimes it's so hard to live with no family and being single.  Lost my oldest and dearest friends with my divorce and sometimes it's just unbareable to be so alone.  I wonder what others do when they feel this way?  Wonder how many others out there are in my situation.  God is our source and our comforter and provider and I know that should be enough but sometimes you just need someone to hold you and lean on and tell you that you matter.

This is one of those sad days but I'm not completely sad, God loves me and I feel guilty that I wish for more.  Sometimes life doesn't feel real, like I'm looking at it from a window and it's not really me. 

Friday, March 3, 2006


I do believe that the greatest gift in life that we can have or give to others is Love.  The Bible tells us that there is no greater love than that we lay down our lives for a friend.

It is my opinion that the greatest tragedies of this life, stem from people who do no love each other the way God has directed us to. It does not matter if it is your neighbor or a stranger that you have met on the street, the gift of love and kindness spreads like wildfire.

Today, just for this moment, smile at someone, do an act of kindness, be thankful for all the blessings that you have and trust God for the rest.